Rod Riding Hood
by ChimeraDragon
Summary: An SGA spin on Red Riding Hood..


Little Red Rodney Hood

JohnxRodney

Little Red Riding Hood's Grandpa Zelenka was very sick. And he needed to take him a basket of goodies. He was supposed be bringing medicine and food that would last a few days.

Now, don't get him wrong. Rodney loved his grandpa, but he really didn't want to have to make the trek out there on such a lovely day. There was plenty of sunlight in his lab and he was on the verge of a new breakthrough that would allow him to make the trek to his Grandpa's safely and in half the time.

But, his Grandpa really needed the medicine and the new pair of glasses that Rodney had fashioned the day before. He sighed and got the basket he usually took over to his Grandpa's because he had made it for him.

"Rodney," Elizabeth called. "It's a little chilly outside and you really should take your cloak with you."

"But mom!" Rodney countered with a slight whine in his voice.

"No, you are to take your cloak. That's final! Besides, don't you want to show Grandpa Zelenka that you like it?" Elizabeth asked gently.

"I do like it, but it's spring! It's starting to get too warm for that," Rodney moaned a little.

"Yes, but when you come home it will be much colder, you'll be thankful for the protection from the weather then, now won't you?"

"Yes..." Rodney refused to admit he was pouting and want to go get his cloak from the rack by the door and put it on. It was a brilliant red color, had no sleeves and reached to halfway past his knees.

"See, I knew you'd listen to reason," Elizabeth said with a patient smile that reached her eyes.

Rodney grumbled to himself as he tossed the cloak on and grabbed the basket of supplies before heading to the door. "I'll see you later, Mom."

"Take care, Rodney. And remember to avoid strangers in the woods," Elizabeth said with yet another smile.

Rodney shook his head as the door closed behind him. "What strangers?" he asked the empty air. "You'd think the woods were teeming with things and people that wanted to do terrible things to you with the way she talks. I can't wait to get back home to my books. I have so much work to do and she's always sending me on these errands." He gave another huge sigh, and started off down the road, mind wandering on exactly how far the planet would travel through the solar system during the course of his trip and how the stars would look that night.

He was so lost in his thoughts he didn't even see the man standing in the road before he bumped into him.

"Hello there, stranger," the man said, voice dark.

Rodney backpedaled a bit to be able to get a better look at the man before him. The man before him had hazel eyes that bordered on being golden. Hair that defied gravity. And a smirk that would swoon most girls.

"Do you talk? Or does the wolf have your tongue?" the man asked, still smirking. Rodney looked closer and noticed the sharp, slightly elongated canines and pointed, furry ears.

"Are you a wolf?" Rodney asked.

"Yes, I am. Well, I'm only half wolf," the man-wolf replied. "But I'm not going to hurt you. I'm John, what's your name?"

"I'm Me-Rodney," Rodney replied, almost using his real first name.

"Rodney? That's a nice name. What are you doing, walking through these woods all alone? You know it can be dangerous here. I hear there are bad things in the forest."

"Aren't wolves supposed to be one of those bad things?" Rodney pointed out.

"Ah, they can be. But I'm only half. Were you expecting me to eat you?" John asked, sounding affronted.

"Um, not really. Not if you wanted to talk to me," Rodney replied uncertainly.

"Where are you headed?" John asked, in a way that was clearly meant to mean he didn't really care.

"I'm headed to my grandfather's cottage, he needs a few things and I'm bringing them to him," Rodney replied, feeling at ease with the stranger.

"That's quite the noble task. You should be on your way. It'll be getting dark soon and I wouldn't want you to get caught in the woods after dark. I'd like to talk with you again sometime." John gave him a winning smile before disappearing into the woods before Rodney could say anything else.

"I'd like that too..." Rodney called after him. He sighed. The other man had seemed, interesting. He hoped he'd get to see the wolf … man again. He looked up and noticed that John was right, the sun was beginning to set and he still had quite a ways to go.

Unfortunately, he never saw the massive shape in the woods that had been watching him. It took off like a bolt in the direction Rodney was headed.

Rodney arrived at the cottage just as the sun was sinking below the horizon. He knocked on the door, not wanting to startle his grandfather any more than his visit likely would. He noticed there were no lights on, which was very strange. "Grandpa! Are you there? I'm going to come in now, so don't drop any of your experiments this time!"

The last time Rodney had walked in unannounced, Radek had dropped two vials and the two of them had spent the next three days purple. Rodney always knocked after that. He hated being purple everywhere.

"Come in my dear," called a raspy, low voice.

"You sound horrible!" Rodney called as he walked in the door. "And why is it so dark in here? Are you allergic to the light now?"

"I'm fine," came the raspy reply.

"Well, I guess it's a good thing mother sent me with supplies for you. You sound like death warmed over," Rodney huffed as he threw back the hood of his cloak and set down the heavy basket he was carrying.

"Come closer my child."

"Okay..."

"I've missed you."

"I missed you too. What have you been experimenting with? Your eyes look huge!"

"All the better to see you with."

"And your ears?"

"All the better to hear you with."

Rodney started to take a half step back. "And your teeth?"

"ALL THE BETTER TO EAT YOU WITH!" came a deep snarl from the bed. A huge wolf lept from the bed and landed on Rodney, knocking the air out of him and nearly causing him to black out. He wheezed for breath, certain he was going to die.

Jaws snapped shut less than an inch from his face.

"You will never leave this cottage alive!" the wolf snarled. "I the mighty Kavanaugh will see your demise!"

"The hell you will!" came a familiar voice as Kavanaugh was knocked off of Rodney and into a wall. John leaped over Rodney and crouched down in front of him defensively. "Are you okay Rodney?"

"I'm fine. Just winded," Rodney wheezed back. He looked around but saw no sign of his grandfather.

"Where's my grandfather?"

"You have done too much this time, where is his grandfather?" John demanded.

"I ate him."

"You sick..." Rodney started, but was stopped by John's hand.

"Then you will die for your crimes," John replied. He leaped at Kavanaugh who never even saw the knife that neatly slit his throat. The only sound that came out was a wet gurgle as his eyes glazed over in death.

"Thank you! You saved me."

"It was nothing. I've been trying to catch him for a while, but he kept evading me. I didn't want anything bad to happen to you so I followed you. I'm sorry for the delay, I didn't know where this cottage was. There's a slim chance the greedy bastard swallowed your grandfather whole."

"Then what do we do?"

"Carefully cut him open. Help me drag him outside," John said. He and Rodney carefully and quickly dragged Kavanaugh's body outside where John cut open the stomach. Out spilled a wiry looking old man that was blinking owlishly at them.

"Rodney my lad, you have come for visit, yes?" Radek said, accent thick.

"Yes, and John here saved us," Rodney replied.

"I smell like ass," Radek replied as he wrinkled his nose.

"You just came out of the stomach of one," John replied with a toothy grin.

"Well, I wash. You talk," Radek said and disappeared behind the cottage to wash up.

"So, that just leaves you and me alone," Rodney said with a bit of grin.

"Yes we are."

"Do not do anything bad!" Radek called from behind the cottage.

John and Rodney broke into laughter as they headed into the cottage together.

And thus a great friendship was born.

The End.


End file.
